


the exhibitionist

by orphan_account



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drinking, M/M, Photographer and Model
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-07-26 03:03:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20036848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: jungmo finds the perfect muse in the tragic model, minhee, who has more secrets than he's willing to share.





	1. one.

**Author's Note:**

> okay i haven't wrote a chaptered fic in a long time so let's hope i actually finish this

when jungmo first meets minhee, it’s in a psychologist’s waiting room. jungmo is waiting for his friend to come out of the office so that he can take him home, skimming the morning’s newspaper as he looks over his glasses to read the small print words. the art section headline tells of a new exhibition at the museum of modern and contemporary art. jungmo doesn’t read the article but grimaces when he spots a photo of himself next to a short description of his photography career. how had he agreed to such a horribly angled picture?

jungmo checked his watch, impatient from having waited a bit longer than he usually would like to. when the door to the offices open, jungmo looks up expectantly as if his friend will be there. instead, a man with red eyes and disheveled hair appears, one fist clenched while his other hand aggressively combs through his own hair. the man quickly takes a seat across from jungmo, paying no attention to the photographer. jungmo, intrigued yet still feeling the need to appear polite, makes quick glances every few seconds. the man has now turned to his phone, wiping at his tear-stained cheeks with the back of his hand. as jungmo continues to observe with worried eyes, the man looks up and the two make eye contact. the other man scowls and stands up. jungmo worries he has done something wrong, but the man leaves the room in one swift motion and everything is silent once more. that is when jungmo first meets minhee.

…

the next time jungmo sees minhee is when they’re first formally introduced. jungmo finds himelf arriving to the museum on a hot summer day, the sun shining so bright that he feels the need to take off the jean jacket he always wears. now donning a simple beige dress shirt and jeans, jungmo entered the museum and is directed towards the basement, where an assortment of people were waiting for him with anxious stances and ticking watches. come to think of it, how had he first been introduced to such a project? there was something about agents, connections, and debts. jungmo was pushed into the museum’s project without even stepping a foot into the art business world.

“ah, there you are!” jungmo was quickly pulled to a different side of the large underground warehouse, now facing his agent, byungchan. “i was starting to worry you wouldn’t show up. the summer traffic really is something, huh? it’s always like this in this part of seoul. hate it.” byungchan took a hold of jungmo’s shoulders and guided him towards another part of the room, this time a door. “i need to introduce you to your model now. let’s see… where is he?” opening the door, jungmo was now in an empty white room where in the middle stood a single person.

at the sound of the door creaking open, the person turned around. jungmo was almost shocked. he recognised the face from the psychologist’s office. it seemed that the man also recognised jungmo as his face contorted into an expression of disgust as his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth formed a slight frown. byungchan, maybe oblivious to their attitudes but maybe not caring, put on his best business smile and let go of jungmo.

“this is kang minhee, the model you’ll be working with. if i’m not mistaken mr. kang has been working with quite a number of impressive magazines lately. what was your most recent…?”

after a few seconds of awkward silence, minhee coughed into his fist. “vogue.” he plainly stated, throwing out the comment as if it meant nothing to him.

“of course! you were on the cover, i remember now.” byungchan exclaimed, snapping in the air as if that had solved all his worries. “yes, you’re right. i loved the backdrop of the scene- the chandelier that hangs right above you seemed so lifelike- were those real knives?” the older man seemed to make an observation each second, taking no time to breathe. “i guess i’m getting a bit sidetracked. i should explain your project in full, but i’m sure you both know by now.”

all the while byungchan rambled on, jungmo and minhee were staring intently at each other. while minhee refused to show any emotions, jungmo felt a mixture of emotions settle in his stomach. he felt nervous. it was obvious that they both remembered that day in the psychologist’s office. with ulterior motives, minhee pulled down his shirt sleeves to cover the majority of his arm. there was no need to create any more tension now.

“so for the next six months, you will both be situated in the main gallery with your own duet exhibition for a day each month. i’m sure the curators and directors have explained it to you, but jungmo will be taking mr kang’s picture in an enclosed space. the visitors will not be able to interact with you two- all of this relies solely on both of you. you will not be able to make contact nor speak during the entire eight hours you are here. the purpose of the exhibition is for jungmo to create a series of photographs that tell a story within these six months. at the end of the year, the museum will showcase it to the entire world. it’s more or less to see what can happen when you limit contact between photographer and subject. am i clear?”

minhee quickly nodded, taking a quick glance at his watch. “of course. i’m more than happy to be working with…?”

“koo jungmo.” jungmo smiled, extending a hand for the other to shake. “i’m sorry i never formally introduced myself. my schedule has been so packed lately, i’m afraid i got here a bit later than i would’ve liked to.”

“oh,” minhee blankly said, staring at the hand for a moment before taking it in his own. “well, it’s nice to meet you, mr. koo. may i call you jungmo? i realise that we will be talking for a while. i hope we can talk casually within these few months.” minhee let go of jungmo’s hand and wiped it on his pants. “yes, i hope we can.”

jungmo, pretending as if he did not see minhee do that, smiled. “of course! then shall i call you minhee? it’s a very pretty name.”

letting the corners of his mouth tilt upwards, minhee chuckled. “i guess so. thank you, jungmo, it was a pleasure to meet you. i’m sorry to be so rude but i do need to leave now, i have another schedule to attend to.” minhee tapped on his watch and pointed towards the door. “i’ll see you two gentlemen later. thank you for taking the time to collaborate with me for this project.” minhee gave one final bow and turned towards the door. the door finally closed with a single click and everything was finally silent.

“well, he was nice!” byungchan exclaimed after a while, his cheek resting in his hand. “this is going to be good publicity for you, jungmo. i’m sure you’ll get good connections from mr. kang too. be happy!” with a hearty pat on the back, byungchan left the room too, leaving jungmo to his own thoughts. perhaps byungchan was right. the next few months would be anything but a disaster.

…

it’s midnight when jungmo finally gets off work and he feels disgusting. the city air has made his hands clammy and sticky, his breath smells of cheap gas station gum, and he thinks that the sweat has evaporated off his skin, leaving only the salt to stick to him. overall, he wants nothing more than to sleep.

yet, as tired as he feels, jungmo decides to visit a bar. there isn’t much thought process behind the decision, more or less something he does on a whim. tonight, it’s a different one from the one he frequents, a place on the outskirts of the bustling metropolis yet still a good enough location that the bar is still in business. the neon sign that sits on the windowsill blinks with a sort of homey feeling that jungmo can’t help but smile like a fool. why was he so comforted by such oddities?

jungmo enters the bar with a drunken stagger despite being perfectly sober. this was his natural habitat, after all. it was almost as if he could get drunk off just the scent of alcohol. this eccentric style was displayed in his photographs. perhaps this is why he was chosen for the project.

taking a seat at one of the worn-down bar stools, jungmo signaled for the bartender to come and take his order. ordering a glass of whiskey on the rocks, jungmo was satisfied with what he had accomplished for the day. after meeting the artist he would be working with for the next few months, he had traveled to and from his studio, meeting with gallery owners and potential clients. though it was truly just an ordinary day, the man felt a sort of pride in his own work ethic and effectiveness.

after receiving his drink, jungmo picked up the glass and swirled the ice cubes around, watching as it slowly melted and mixed with the already cheap drink. today just felt normal.

suddenly, another man sat down directly next to jungmo. craning his head just the slightest as to appear nonchalant about it, jungmo was surprised to recognise the face. it was minhee, after all. how could jungmo forget such a unique, pretty face?

as if he did not care, minhee paid no attention to the pair of eyes that were now fixated on him. instead, signaling for the bartender, he ordered a single shot of vodka. downing it as quickly as it came to him, minhee wiped his mouth with the back of his palm. he sighed, then turned to face jungmo.

“fancy seeing you here.” he stated plainly, looking jungmo up and down as if to evaluate his fashion choices. “i’m surprised, really. i come here because there’s usually no one here. looks like i’m not the only one who thinks this way.” shrugging to himself, minhee turned back around to face the bar. lifting the empty glass to his lips, minhee mumbled something incoherent. then, with a sly smile, he turned to face jungmo again. “just kidding. i know why you’re here. there’s only one reason why people come here, anyways.” setting the glass down, minhee looked around as if there was something he was afraid of. “fucking idiots.” he muttered under his breath.

“come on,” minhee stood up and gestured to the back end of the bar. “just follow me.”

jungmo, confused yet somehow entranced by the slender silhouette of minhee beckoning him, complied. getting up from his seat too, he followed the younger man into the men’s restroom, a small single stall room that locked with a simple click of a button. when jungmo entered, minhee hastily locked the door.

“let’s get this over with,” minhee muttered, slamming a hand against the wall that jungmo leaned against in a sort of cliché style that jungmo swore only worked in books. with downcast eyes, minhee leaned in closer to jungmo, pressing his own body against the older’s. right before minhee’s lips came in contact with jungmo’s, jungmo pushed the younger away. with his heart beating fast and his cheeks flushed, jungmo was unsure as to why he had done so.

“what?” jungmo shakily breathed out, feeling everything inside of him convulse in a sort of grotesque, twisted way. “what the fuck was that?”

minhee rolled his eyes. “should’ve known you were one of _those_ people. whatever. i wasn’t the one who followed a man they just met into a gross bathroom.” taking his hand off the wall and subsequently shoving it into his pocket, minhee laughed. “you’re cute though. i think it will be a pleasure working with you.” unlocking the door and pushing it open, minhee turned around one last time before leaving. “and if you ever want to try this again, ask byungchan for my number. he knows it.”

with those few words, minhee left, leaving jungmo once again to his own thoughts.


	2. four.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jungmo and minhee do their first shoot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> none of this shit is proofread im TIRED and SLEEPY also if you wanna proofread this fic's chapters pls hmu in the comments thank u loves

jungmo meets minhee for the fourth time a few weeks later. surprisingly, the museum had not invited the two to meet once more, but he was sure it was all a part of the exhibition’s rules. after all, the entire concept was to create a storyline without any contact. it made sense, in a way.

when jungmo entered the museum at some ungodly early hour, he was quickly shoved into a room, blindfolded (with consent, of course), and guided towards an open room with lights that shone onto a fenced-off area that resembled a sort of arena. relying mostly on the museum staff and curators to describe the set up to him, the faint sound of footsteps getting closer sounded from the opposite side of the room. a man with a deep voice addressed the person who had just arrived. it was minhee, also blindfolded on the other side of the arena.

the sounds of furniture being scraped against the floor filled jungmo’s ears and finally left, leaving only a curious, unsatisfied mind in its wake. jungmo’s head buzzed with all sorts of ideas, desperately trying his best not to think of the situation that had occurred at the bar. it had been a couple weeks- there was no reason to think of it now. he had to drop the subject now or it’d haunt him forever.

jungmo finally heard the grandfather clock chime in the distance, marking the time as ten in the morning. with one swift movement, jungmo’s blindfold was removed. before this, however, a staff member had leaned in close to him.

“remember, no physical contact, no word exchanges, and no interacting with the audience. if they try to do something, pay no attention. we’ll handle that. just act as if there’s no one else except you and mr. kang.”

reciting these words over and over in his head, jungmo was relieved when the blindfold was finally off. the harsh lighting from above strained his eyes for a bit as he gripped tightly onto the camera that was placed in his hands. focusing on the sensation of the camera in his hands, jungmo pondered for a second as visitors flooded the room. how long had they waited outside the closed doors?

taking a deep breath, jungmo looked ahead. in front of him sat minhee, lounging on a loveseat made of rich, red satin that contrasted with the dark green suit he wore. his fingers were littered with numerous emerald rings, spanning in size, colour, and design. on one, small, miniscule pearls decorated the edges of the emerald. on one, a small, single cross was made with the gem. jungmo found it absolutely breathtaking.

the final centerpiece, being on minhee’s head, was an emerald crown that was adorned with vine leaves, twisted branches, and thorns that seemed to caress the shape of minhee’s head. it fit him perfectly. when jungmo glanced up to take in the sight, he let out a sharp exhale. minhee was stunning. the outfit had only managed to accentuate the sharp, beautiful features that made minhee such a gorgeous man. jungmo had finally fallen in love.

walking closer to minhee, jungmo bent down on one knee to get a better angle. minhee’s blindfold was still on, but perhaps this was an artistic choice. looking into the camera, jungmo was unsatisfied with the current angle. walking closer and closer to the seat which minhee was sprawled upon, jungmo was now only inches away from minhee’s body. jungmo swore he could hear the other man breathe as the whole gallery was silent. reaching out with an unsure hand, jungmo leaned closer to take the blindfold off minhee’s peaceful face. yet, before he could do so, a hand was placed in front of his face.

minhee tore the blindfold off himself with sudden brevity and stood up, placing both of his hands at his sides. the two men stared at each other with an awkward air surrounding them. quietly, minhee smirked. turning his head to face the crowd, he gave a little wave and sat back down on the seat. opening his legs partially and finally facing jungmo, the photographer, minhee stuck two fingers into his mouth. if he wanted a show, then he would give jungmo a show.

…

one thing that separated jungmo from a lot of the more modern photographers in this day and age was that he preferred to develop his photos in his own personal darkroom. though he had made sure to install one in his own apartment in seoul, the museum conveniently had one in their storage attic. though it was a musty, old part of the building, jungmo took the opportunity nonetheless. besides, it seemed more convenient to do it while he was still in the museum. there was no reason to go home so quick.

clipping the photos onto a line that hung across the room, jungmo stood back to admire his work. the photos had yet to develop fully, so the colour was still faint and undecidable.

behind jungmo, the door to the room slowly creaked open and a small sliver of light was let into the studio. in came minhee, still dressed in his velvet suit yet without the many accessories that he had worn only minutes before. dusting off himself, he made his way to where jungmo stood and took a step to stand next to the older man.

after a moment’s silence, minhee was the one who first spoke. “well, that was certainly new. i hope i didn’t scare you back there?” the last comment was more of a rhetorical question, said with a bit of an arrogant tone. “i looked at some of your previous work before coming here today. you’re quite talented i must say.” minhee turned to face jungmo and smiled. “i love your work with the red light district. truly some riveting work. made me think of our own model industry.” minhee laughed at his own joke, turning quickly from a smile to a scowl. “what a stupid joke.”

turning away to look at the other side of the room where minhee didn’t stand, jungmo took in the words that minhee had spit out. “thank you…” he carefully muttered, being careful to not let all his emotions pour out in one messed up jumble. “i appreciate it. it was very critically received when i first published them. i’m glad to hear that my efforts were not in vain.”

the room went quiet once again and the two stood side by side without saying a word. oddly enough, they were both comfortable with the mutual silence. it was a rare feeling, seeing as they had only met a handful of times. finally, not being able to bare the intolerable silence, minhee took a step towards the photos. they were almost done developing.

“wow. these are…” minhee sucked in a deep breath, letting it out with an overdramatic flair. “beautiful. i’ve always seen photos of my modeling gigs but these really bring it in a different light. the monochrome scheme really brings out the contrasting colours of the red satin and green velvet. i’m sure this was intentional, right?”

“why, thank you again. you’re right, i do most of my photos like this for that exact reason.” jungmo finally mustered up the courage to look minhee right in the eyes. “though i wouldn’t say these are anything unique. i think it’s the model that truly makes the photograph. you could take a photo of everyone from this angle and it wouldn’t be the same.”

upon hearing such a comment, minhee giggled and put a hand to his mouth to cover his smile. “you flatter me, jungmo_!_” the sound of jungmo’s name escaping minhee’s lips made jungmo’s stomach twist and his heart beat even faster. what was this feeling?

“i don’t think i deserve such praise, though. there’s much more that goes on behind the scenes. i don’t feel worthy enough for this position.” minhee stared wistfully at nothing, looking past the photographs and into the darkness of the brick wall. shuffling a hand through his hair, minhee turned on his heels and headed towards the door, briefly brushing past jungmo. before he could place his hand on the doorknob, minhee looked back one more time.

“what are you doing there? come on, follow me” he gestured towards jungmo, who surprisingly looked around as if there was someone else in the room that the younger was addressing. realising that minhee was indeed directing his invitation at him, jungmo obeyed and exited the room with minhee, leaving the photos to finish developing in the studio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i am TIRED AS FUCK pls leave comments ill try my best to reply to each one <3 love ya


	3. four.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's 2 am in seoul. you're by yourself. you call a taxi. everything is fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry that none of this shit is proofread im actually the worst person ever and will edit this when im forced to

the taxi ride felt long. this was mostly due to the fact that jungmo had no idea where the car was heading, as minhee had rushed to catch the cab and had hurriedly whispered an address into the driver’s ear before urging the photographer to get into the back seat. minhee, on the other hand, had taken the executive decision to sit in the front seat, leaving jungmo to his own thoughts in the back. for most of the ride, there was only the pleasant hum and bustle of the city around them that permeated throughout the vehicle, seeing as the driver was more focused on the road to talk to them and minhee was preoccupied with scrolling through his Instagram feed. jungmo took the time to look outside the window. he never truly got out much. the city looked quite beautiful at night.

the car came to a stop with an abrupt halt, resulting in jungmo’s camera bag to fly against the back of minhee’s seat. minhee turned to the driver and thanked him, handing a few 10,000 won bills to him. “keep the change,” he murmured, glancing back at jungmo before gesturing for him to get out. “come on_!_”

reluctantly, jungmo gathered his camera that had fallen to the floor and exited the taxi, stealing one last glance at the vehicle before another pedestrian on the street entered through the door he had come out of. by the time jungmo looked back, minhee was already a few steps ahead of him, walking through the city that still seemed to buzz with life, even that late at night. jungmo breathed out a harsh sigh and took in the beauty. hurriedly fishing his camera from his bag, jungmo took a few snapshots of the city above and stuffed the machine back in his bag. minhee was almost out of eyesight.

having finally caught up with the younger, jungmo returned back to a normal walking pace. “where are we going?” he panted, placing a hand on his chest to feel his own rising heartbeat.

minhee turned his head and smiled, parting his lips to say something. yet, nothing came out, and jungmo disappointingly followed the younger, feeling it too rude to probe once more. perhaps it was a bit foolish for jungmo to have tagged along, especially given the circumstances of their meeting- but jungmo was too blind in love to see that. and who could blame him?

after a few minutes of walking, minhee finally led jungmo to a sleek apartment building. “ah, this is my apartment. sorry, i forgot to mention it.” minhee waved the comment off as if it meant nothing to him and began to input a code into a keypad. “there. i live on the forty-third floor- i hope you’re not scared of heights.” minhee grinned as the elevator in front of them opened its doors. “let’s go.”

jungmo abided by this and soon enough the two were in a large, spacious cheongdam apartment that even jungmo could admit was quite nice. though he had no interest in interior design or anything of that liking, jungmo was still amazed by the architecture of the entire space. but what right did he have to say this? after all, jungmo’s own apartment was still strewn about with books from his college years.

as jungmo stood in the doorway admiring the apartment, minhee had taken to other things, moving to his kitchen as he grabbed a bottle of wine and another bottle of whiskey. pouring out two tall glasses of each drink, minhee took one of the glasses of wine and shoved it into jungmo’s hand as he downed the other.

“what are you doing there? you can sit down, you know.” minhee rested a hand on jungmo’s shoulder and guided him towards a couch, forcing the older to sit down as he took a seat next to him. jungmo could smell the alcohol on minhee’s breath as the younger leaned towards him, grip tightening on his shoulder. “let’s drink to our success, okay? it’s not every day a prominent young model and a rising photographer get paired together for a museum exhibition. we’re practically the korean versions of marina abramovic and ulay!” minhee reached for the counter and stole the almost empty bottle of wine. maybe minhee had already been drunk before even coming to the apartment.

“no, no. i couldn’t possibly do that. i appreciate your compliment, though.” jungmo shivered, trying his best to smile as he felt his whole body tense when minhee had placed a hand on him. “i still need to drive my car back from the museum. i don’t think i can drink right now, i’m sorry.”

minhee scoffed and placed a hand on jungmo’s arm. “nonsense. you can just stay over. i’m sure the landlord won’t mind_!_ after all, no one will know anyways.” minhee leaned in closer to jungmo, only inches away from him now. the last sentence was almost whispered, as if the model had told a secret. “don’t worry about your car. i’ll just pay the cab to your work tomorrow. stay here.” without even looking back at the kitchen area, minhee took the bottle of vodka and downed it all. within a few seconds there was no liquid left in the glass vessel and minhee looked as if he were going to cry.

“are you alright?” though jungmo had previously been more occupied with trying not to pay attention to minhee, the sound of glass scraping against the table had made him turn around, only to witness the horrors of minhee drowning himself in alcohol. “shit- you’re definitely not supposed to consume that much vodka within such a short amount of time… at least it was almost empty.” jungmo looked at a choking minhee with concern. “you’re really fucking stupid.” he said with a slight tone of endearment.

upon hearing this comment, minhee giggled. “you’re right. i am stupid. but i’m also super drunk, so let’s leave it at that.” grabbing a hold of the couch’s arms, minhee stood himself up and headed towards the next room. “if you don’t mind me, i’m going to go vomit my guts out for a second in the restroom. feel free to make yourself at home.” the door to the next room shut as minhee entered it, followed by a series of retched noises that jungmo decided to mask with the noises of the busy city below. when minhee emerged from the room again, he took a seat in front of jungmo.

“it’s been a long week.” minhee said before jungmo could say anything. pushing a hand through his hair, minhee sighed. “god, i’m so tired.”

suddenly, jungmo remembered the time at the psychologist’s office. that was how this had all started, was it not?

making no comment, jungmo waited before speaking up. “do you by any chance know dr. hwang? he’s my friend’s psychologist- i was just wondering since i saw you that one day… you might also know donghyun then? though i doubt it. you just share the same psychologist, really-“

“what are you talking about?” the words came abruptly, hitting jungmo in the face. minhee’s expression had changed from bored to offended within a matter of seconds. minhee was no longer sitting and had instead stood up from his seat. “why the hell would you even assume i need a psychologist? or a therapist? i’m perfectly fine. do you understand how offensive that is to me?” minhee rolled his eyes as the corners of his mouth twitched. “whatever. it’s fine- you probably just mistook the person in the waiting room for someone else.” minhee shook his head. jungmo had not even mentioned a therapist nor the waiting room. minhee was a bad liar.

throwing his head back, minhee moved towards the grand windows that overlooked the entire city. the view was nice and he could also hear the buzz of the city from there. jungmo stared in awe. minhee was truly the prettiest person he had ever seen, even while his hair was messed up and his eyes seemed to threaten to close every few seconds. subconsciously, jungmo picked up his camera and shot a few photos of minhee at the window. they would look perfect in black and white.

…

jungmo gently laid minhee down on his bed, being careful not to wake the younger. not even ten minutes had passed from when minhee had came out of the bathroom and he had already fallen asleep. feeling as if this was the right time to leave, jungmo quickly took out the pen and notepad he carried with him everywhere and wrote down a quick note explaining that he had to leave out of curtesy and need of his own job. besides, if jungmo had stayed, it would’ve felt like an invasion of privacy. they had only just met- jungmo wouldn’t dare to do that.

staring at minhee’s peaceful expression, jungmo finally felt content enough to leave the man in his apartment. walking out of the room to leave the apartment, jungmo came back after a second thought and quickly found an extra blanket on one of the bedroom shelves. quietly making sure that minhee was covered from his shoulders down in the blanket, jungmo smiled. now he could finally leave.

taking the elevator back down to the lobby, jungmo checked his watch. it was now two in the morning- his next gig was at seven. grimacing, jungmo shrugged. it didn’t matter anymore. what had been done was done. there was no need to look back on the past. yet, as the photographer stepped out of the building and into the cold night, there was still one thing on his mind. why had minhee denied being in the psychologist’s room that day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi pls dont drink this much alcohol if u drink an entire bottle of whisky or vodka you will die


	4. five.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minhee and jungmo both makes mistakes. 
> 
> (they're human, aren't they?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow i really just need a proofreader

the month passed by without a hitch. the events that had occurred at minhee’s apartment had been long forgotten (or so he liked to pretend) by jungmo, who had since turned to focusing on his own personal projects. though the next photoshoot day loomed silently over jungmo, the photographer was more occupied with high-profile events and modeling gigs he had been invited to survey in. while jungmo prided himself over his dedication to his work, it felt impossible to stray from minhee for too long. his name appeared in every show, every event, every workshop he went to. in attendance pamphlets, jungmo saw his name. upon reading the three characters, kang minhee, jungmo would feign sickness and proceed to call byungchan to cancel his appointment. it seemed as if jungmo was now doing the museum’s job for them.

and so a month passed by and the museum curator who had gathered both photographer and model dialed jungmo and requested that he returned to the museum. of course, it was not a request- more or less a demand- but jungmo complied. while driving to the building, blood rushed through jungmo’s veins. somehow, jungmo was curious and excited to see what minhee would look like this time. while the older had indeed spent the last few weeks avoiding the model, there was still a feeling of giddy schoolboy-esque excitement that clouded his thoughts. what a time to be alive_!_

in the early hours of the morning, jungmo was rushed once more into the building and blindfolded. like an annoyed executive who had yet to receive his morning coffee, jungmo made a few comments about his camera. “this time, please don’t mess with any of the pre-set settings. i set them in specific ratios for a reason, you know.” with byungchan behind him, rolling his eyes at some of the workers, he patted jungmo’s back.

“he’s always like this. just get him out there and he’ll shut up.” byungchan joked, shooting a sly wink at the tall museum curator that had called jungmo minutes before. before he could retort back to his manager, jungmo was taken to the exhibition room and placed at the other end of the ring as he had been a month before. hushed whispers sounded around him, signaling the opening of the exhibit. the museum had already opened and he assumed that his blindfold would be taken off in a matter’s time. jungmo felt the cold metal of his camera in his hands but still, the blindfold remained.

from the other side of the room, the sound of footsteps began to get louder and louder until the footsteps ceased and jungmo sensed someone in front of him. a warm breath was blown in jungmo’s face and the older violently tore the blindfold from his face. in front of him stood minhee, grinning from ear to ear.

feeling his grip on his camera tighten, jungmo took a step back, feeling the satin material of the rope border that surrounded the two. looking minhee up and down, the older was shocked to see that minhee wore an open blazer that revealed his bare chest. on his head was the same crown of thorns that had adorned his head last month, but now the crown’s thorns extended to neck. the fake vines and branches were modeled in a way that portrayed the plants to be almost choking minhee, making a sick sort of choker with the way it was positioned. though minhee was still trying to contain his laughter, jungmo could not help but let his eyes wander. the photographer took in every single detail of minhee’s outfit, sparing nothing from his mind. it was all quite beautiful.

taking his camera in his hands and looking through the viewfinder, jungmo decided to take detail shots of the model in front of him. instead of focusing on specific poses, he instead focused intently on the little details- the fake tears that the makeup artist had drawn right below minhee’s right eye, the way the light bounced off the fake leaves that hung loosely off of minhee’s neck and shoulder, the curvature of minhee’s lips when he smiled. in jungmo’s eye, everything came together perfectly. each shot in itself was gorgeous.

…

jungmo took the final shot, feeling himself getting tired. the museum had essentially closed for the night as guests filed out of the exhibition, chattering away about how they had came the previous time and were excited to see what the photos would turn out to be. jungmo paid no mind to this, instead leaving through the back door in which he had entered from that morning. as soon as the staff had given the two the signal to leave, minhee had left in a hurry, making it impossible for jungmo to say a word to him. this was normal, jungmo assumed. minhee was far more busy than him. after all, it was the model who was known, not the photographer. it was only natural that minhee have more schedules to attend to.

after jungmo had finished putting his work materials away, he made his way to bathroom. though he had no intention of actually using the facility, he went in and locked himself in one of the stalls, pulling up his feet on the seat and scrolled through his social media feed. for once, it felt nice to have some peace and quiet. as the museum was closed jungmo was sure that no one would intrude. at least, that was what he had originally thought.

in the midst of replying to a fan’s comment on instagram, jungmo heard the bathroom door open with a slam, an angry voice sounding through the tiled room. it only took seconds before jungmo was sure he knew the voice. it was minhee, after all.

“-yes, yes. i know_!_ i know, i’m not stupid.” minhee seethed through the phone, making quick steps as he walked back and forth. jungmo silently turned off his phone and clutched his legs closer to his body. he felt dirty- as if he was committing a crime by eavesdropping on the other’s conversation. but what could he do? come out as if he wasn’t there the entire time?

the voice on the other end of the call talked for a bit as minhee impatiently tapped his foot against the floor. though jungmo could not hear the voice, the way that minhee scoffed and made exasperated noises from behind the stall door seemed to signify that the younger was getting scolded somehow.

“yunseong_!_ please, please just listen to me for this one time. i know that this is just a mistake but listen to me-“ jungmo almost gasped, furrowing his brows as he heard the familiar name. hwang yunseong was an acquaintance of his, being donghyun’s psychologist. he had met the man on a few occasions but nothing more and nothing less. this just further proved that minhee had lied to him that one night.

“yes, i did see him today. why even bother asking- you already know that. anyways, it went fine. thanks for asking despite being so defiant about the decision before, i suppose. it was our second but he keeps ignoring my advances. i can’t understand why he does that… i set everything up so perfectly- spend so much time trying to plan this all out and yet he only ignores me. please, i even got him to come with me to my apartment but he wouldn't even stay. frankly, i didn't remember anything the next morning but i swore i would've woken up next to him if he had- please, yunseong, i'm not senseless, i swear.”

at this point, minhee sounded exasperated. jungmo almost felt pity as the pain in minhee’s voice was too much to bare. yet, thinking over the words that he had just uttered- wasn’t that similar to something he had experienced himself…?

pondering too much on the subject, jungmo’s grip on his phone slipped and the device immediately crashed to the ground, a loud, thundering sound bouncing off the tile as it echoed through the room. suddenly, minhee’s voice stopped. for a few seconds everything seemed silent.

“hold on, yunseong. i’m going to have to call you back.” minhee nonchalantly murmured into the phone and ended the call. jungmo scrambled to pick up his phone as he saw the silhouette of minhee’s shadow get increasingly closer to his stall. just as the shadow was right in front of the stall door, jungmo closed his eyes and unlocked the door. there stood minhee, phone still positioned in the crook of his neck as he strained his head to hold it.

“ah, jungmo_!_ is your phone alright?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall i have no idea where this fic is going so uhhh you're all in this ride with me okay
> 
> also shout out to the 3 PEOPLE keeping this fic alive thank u for ur support


	5. six.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minhee is a horrible person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah its 12 am but i promised someone on cc an update tonight SO HERE SHE IS

jungmo meets minhee for the sixth time face to face in the museum’s back bathroom. one of jungmo’s eyes is still partially closed and the hand that grips a bit too tightly onto his phone is covering half of his face. yet, even from his blocked eyesight, he can still see the worried face of minhee who stands in front of him with a curious but not quite angry expression. jungmo could feel his heart melt under his gaze. was this love?

processing what minhee had just uttered, jungmo snapped out of his own daze. “what? oh_!_” the photographer shook his head, smiling at his own foolishness. “well, yes. my phone looks fine. i don’t see any scratches or anything. thank you for asking.” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head out of embarrassment. yet, sensing a mutual feeling of discomfort settle through the room, jungmo quickly spoke up again. “i’m sorry if i caused you an anxiety- i just came in the restroom before you also came in too. i really didn’t hear anything, i’m sorry.”

there was a small pause between the two. of course, minhee had not asked _what_ exactly jungmo was doing in the stall, but he still felt compelled to tell the other anyways. it only took a few seconds for minhee to regain his composure. it was a skill he had learn after years of meticulous work in the industry.

“oh. that’s quite alright, i assure you. no hard feelings.” rifling a hand through his already messed up locks, minhee stuck a hand in his coat pocket and produced his own cellphone. “it’s getting quite late. were you going to go to wonjin’s party? if you were planning on going i could lend you a ride.” minhee looked at jungmo expectantly.

taking the time to stand up, jungmo dusted himself off while he listened to minhee talk. yet, the last few sentences seemed alien to him. who was wonjin?

“excuse me? i’m sorry, i don’t think i was invited to that party. i don’t know of any wonjin and i didn’t have anything planned for tonight either. i’m sorry i keep bothering you, really.” making a pitiable expression, jungmo exited the stall as minhee moved to one side to let him through. as jungmo stepped towards the exit and reached for the handle, minhee called out.

“wait_!_ w-wait- i swear i asked wonjin to… never mind.” when jungmo looked back over his shoulder, minhee’s arm was extended and a hand was hovering close to his shoulder. yet, when the older man looked back, minhee’s expression fell as did his arm. biting down on his lip, minhee looked to the floor instead. “you know what, it’s fine_!_ i think wonjin actually asked for us to bring dates, anyways. he always does. why don’t you just come with me as my date?” minhee looked up and smiled, his once somber expression soon replaced by the cheerful one he always plastered onto his face when dealing with designers or higher-ups.

jungmo let the door close. “date?” he croaked out, immediately clutching his throat at the sudden betrayal in his voice. “well, i mean- i don’t think i could. i’m not particularly dressed for the occasion and i’d hate to barge in on something that only you were personally invited to and-“

“you’re fine. wonjin is doesn’t bite, he won’t mind.” minhee cheerfully nodded and stepped forward to link his arm with jungmo’s. “come on. you could use the connections, right?” dragging jungmo out of the bathroom with him, minhee began to head towards the exit of the museum. though jungmo wanted to decline, he knew he couldn’t. there was no point in saving someone so love-struck as he was in that moment. even the wrath of a thousand suns would not have been able to stop jungmo from following.

“i… i suppose so.” was all that jungmo could say, long after they had exited the museum and had entered in a shared taxi. “i suppose so.”

…

the ride was longer than what jungmo had thought. though he had not kept track of how long it had taken to arrive at the estate, jungmo surmised that it had taken around an hour just to arrive at the man’s front yard. the home seemed to be straight from a novel- nothing that seemed like the usual small homes or large apartments that were the norm in korea. the home was a mansion- with numerous floors and windows that were reminiscent of old, 20s american architecture. jungmo instinctively took out his camera. it was like a scene straight out of the great gatsby.

“looks like they started without us.” minhee grumbled as he got out of the car. the younger had fallen asleep as soon as they entered the taxi, waking up finally when the driver had nervously asked for them to pay up. jungmo, with only ten thousand won to his name, had regrettably shaken minhee awake. with a dissatisfied frown on his face, minhee whisked out two hundred thousand won and gave it to the driver. jungmo wondered how much sleep the model had gotten the day before.

as the two passed through the large gates, the sound of party music and people laughing grew louder and louder. the purple glow the emitted from the home made jungmo feel anxious. it really was not a good idea to come.

arriving close enough to get a full view of the home and the guests, jungmo established to himself that the party wasn’t just for models- but rather socialites of every kind. there were a few familiar faces here and there, but most, jungmo assured himself, had net worths well over billions of won. jungmo felt as if he didn’t belong.

surveying his surroundings, the sudden stench of alcohol quickly hit jungmo. he grimaced. it _reeked_.

“if minhee gets fucking wasted again here and i have to pay for a cab myself…” jungmo muttered, wringing his hands together as he ventured further into the house. though he had originally assumed that minhee was long gone and had gone elsewhere, it was quite frankly the opposite. the younger man had followed him into the house, trailing closely behind. though any normal person wouldn’t have heard such a quiet comment, minhee had long trained to eavesdrop. it was a special skill of his, it seemed.

minhee stopped in his tracks. the crowd had divulged a bit, giving the two room to openly talk.

“hah… is that what you really think of me, jungmo? i’m sorry that i’ve given off the impression of a total drunkard.” minhee’s lip quivered and his eyes gave away the feeling of true pain that he had masked behind a cocky expression. “please forgive me. i think i need to go elsewhere.” and with that comment, minhee turned the other direction and stormed off.

the blood quickly drained from jungmo’s face as he realised what he had just done. though everything seemed to be happening so quickly, there wasn’t enough time to ponder or retort. where had such a negative comment come from?

jungmo followed minhee. though the house was definitely foreign in fashion, jungmo remembered from his years of studying art history in college that most layouts of homes like these had a courtyard in the back with a terrace that overlooked the entire yard. based on the direction that minhee had went towards, jungmo could only assume that that was where he was going to. it seemed like minhee to clear his mind out in the open with no one around.

jungmo was right. finally making his way up flights of stairs to find the balcony, the photographer had a clear view of the entire backyard. it was a nicely managed garden, jungmo thought. but besides that, there was no one outside. though the sound of blaring music could still be heard, the countryside was mostly quiet, giving the chance for obscure comments to still be heard even through the chaotic background.

in the middle of the garden sat minhee and yunseong. of course, jungmo recognised yunseong. his face was one you could simply not forget. and minhee, well… it looked as if he had buried his head into yunseong’s shoulder.

“minhee, what the hell?” yunseong chided harshly, rubbing the young man’s back as he sighed. “take a few deep breaths, okay? please don’t start hyperventilating on me.”

minhee held his head up for a moment and whimpered. from where jungmo stood, it looked as if minhee was crying. the red, puffed eyes and permanent frown were telltale signs. he recognised this look from their first meeting.

“god, yunseong. you’re right. i’m so idiotic. why do i waste all my time trying to pursue something so futile_!_ he’ll never love me… you were right. i’m wrong. i never, ever listen to you…” minhee sobbed between sentences, wiping at the tears that streamed down his cheeks. “i guess he thinks i’m a fucking alcoholic. well maybe i am- i didn’t choose this shitty career. i’ve built myself up through nothing but scams and lies. hell, this whole thing is a lie. i’m just a bad person, yunseong. i’ve only lied to him.”

yunseong grimaced. yes, he was minhee’s friend (and therapist), but sometimes it was best not to say anything.

“do you think i’m a good person, yunseong?” minhee frantically calmed himself down, finding himself showing signs of weakness in public. silence followed as yunseong tapped on the arm of the bench they both sat on. he was trying to articulate an intelligent response. “i knew it. you know me too well.” minhee glowered as he looked to the side.

“well, if you’re not going to answer me, yunseong, then i might as well answer my own question. no- i am a horrible person. and you know why? because i’m a fucking liar who uses my power just to get the shit i want- i’ve lied to everyone just to have some skin in the game. there are so many things i can’t undo now that i wish i could. but the thing is, i don’t even feel bad. isn’t this supposed to hurt?”

yunseong’s eyes sharpened. it seemed that this was getting too far.

“kang minhee- can you shut up for a moment and listen to what you’re saying? don’t you find this act of self-pitying at least a bit shameful?” yunseong’s tone had grown severe. he could not risk mistakes- no. not in public like this. “stop acting so tough. i thought you had worked to destroy this cold exterior you’ve built up over the years.” yunseong’s voice softened as he laid a hand on minhee’s thigh. “relax.”

jungmo watched as if years of stress and anxiety were lifted from minhee’s shoulder as his eyes fluttered close and he exhaled a long breath. perhaps it was time for jungmo to go.

as jungmo began to head the other way and down the stairs, he looked back one more time. yunseong had made eye contact with him. they both knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i actually have a definitive plot line going now? its probably gonna change up a bit but i have a bare-bones idea floating around in my head. i write down the plot line for each individual chapter only minutes before i write the entire thing though so i shouldnt expect too much from myself ahaha
> 
> let me know if this is too dark!!! honestly i dont want to portray minhee as this weird lil emo boy because he is just not that but obviously this is a bit ooc from who he really is (aka a WHOLE BABY!!!!) i think my characterisation of him here is just.... very very complex haha but i never thought it would be true to character anyways
> 
> thank you for all the lovely comments so far! to be honest as each chapter goes by i get increasingly worried and dissatisfied with my work so at least some people like it rip? i dont think ill ever write something as good as honey, honey.... which is quite frankly really sad.
> 
> so thank you once again! i hope to see you soon <3 and please, please leave feedback in the comments. let me know ANYTHING.


	6. seven.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> half-way there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry for any mistakes. i'm really really sorry!

jungmo and yunseong held each other’s gazes for a splint second longer. in that split second, yunseong’s eyes seemed to narrow as he quickly began to calculate what exactly jungmo had heard and seen. it only took a few seconds before yunseong knew what to do.

“hey,” yunseong said softly, lowering his gaze as he let his eyelashes flutter down. putting an arm around minhee’s shoulder, jungmo watched in horror as the man turned his head to the side and planted a single, long kiss onto minhee’s lips. jungmo was shocked. there was no reason for jungmo to _be_ jealous, yet the sinking feeling that he felt suddenly seep into his chest was more than enough for him to quickly run down the steps, unable to spectate any longer. jungmo was not saddened by this- no, not at all (and in fact was quite alright with the situation surprisingly), but was more disappointed by the part of his heart that thought he had a chance. of course, he was wrong in the end. it was only natural. how horrible it would be for two coworkers to fall in love, after all.

jungmo hurried down the stairs, crowding his mind with thoughts of work he needed to complete over the weekend that was yet to be touched. as jungmo crept near the entrance of the building, yunseong had finally pulled away from minhee. the younger was visibly shaken, pulling a hand to touch his lips as if he was in disbelief that yunseong had truly kissed him.

“what… what the hell was that for, yunseong?” minhee whispered, blinking rapidly under the darkness of the setting sun. though he had never considered yunseong as a romantic interest, there was something that minhee was not surprised with. the kiss would have come sooner or later, he thought.

“forgive me, minhee. this was all in your best interest.” yunseong sighed, straightening the two sides of his jacket before standing up. “it’s getting a bit late, shouldn’t you get going now? you know we both don’t live close to wonjin’s. it’d be a hassle to leave so late. i’ll take you back.” the older offered a kind smile to minhee, picking up some of the empty cups and paper plates that littered the ground. “let’s go.”

without much to say, minhee followed yunseong. the two had been long time friends, so minhee trusted yunseong without any questions asked. though thoughts of his breakdown still swirled through his head, minhee knew that there would come a time where he would be able to let out everything he had been harbouring for the past few months. however, the time had yet to come.

…

a month passed by and jungmo found himself once again on the day of the third exhibition, lying on his bed with no intent of ever getting up. the month had gone by quickly, with most of his efforts dedicated to further pursuing his career in the art world and also creating connections that would likely bring him more clientele in the future. though the museum work he had been doing certainly gave him a greater boost, there was still much to be done on his own as his agent only did so much.

the phone on the table next to jungmo’s bed buzzed. with much annoyance, jungmo shifted his position in the bed so that he could reach out and grab the device before it continued to bother him any longer. thought the contact name was blank, the photographer still recongised the combination of random digits as the museum curator’s number. only a few days ago he had learned the man’s name was seungwoo, and he and byungchan were somewhat of old acquaintances. jungmo wondered whether or not he was chosen solely based on his skill for the project, or if it was some kind of elaborate scheme that byungchan had devised for his number one client. jungmo preferred the former.

almost boringly, jungmo set the phone back down, not bothering to answer nor decline the call. frankly, jungmo had no motivation to get out of bed- nonetheless answer a call.

a few seconds later the phone rang once more, this time, seemingly with more prominence than the last call. heaving a large sigh, the man furiously tore himself from the bed and lunged for the phone, mind racing as he stared at the same number once more. taking a deep breath, jungmo answered the call.

“koo jungmo_!_ where the hell are you? do you even know what time it is? you were supposed to be at the museum almost thirty minutes ago… there’s only twenty more minutes till the exhibition opens_!_” seungwoo was furious. though the curator’s demeanor was usually warm and welcoming, the man’s voice was one to be _feared_. jungmo coughed into the phone.

“i… seungwoo hyung, i can’t. i feel so sick right now, like i’ll throw up at any moment. can’t you just move the date to another time?” falling back onto the bed, jungmo pulled the worst excuse he could make out from the air. it was the least he could do.

there was a moment of silence as distant chatters could be heard from the other end of the line.

“i’ll give you ten minutes to get ready. i’m sending byungchan to your apartment right now to pick you up. if you do not get here by the time this museum opens i will not be paying you, okay?” the last sentence was said with such a morbidly cheerful tone that jungmo could not help but sputter.

“w-what? wait- seungwoo hyung, please, i didn’t actually mean it- i actually feel much better now- wait_!_” the call had ended and so had jungmo’s will to live. there was no getting out of the situation now.

…

the camera felt heavy in his hands. though he had held it for almost every day he lived, the sensation was different each time. today, the weight of the camera was too much to bear. as soon as the tool was placed in his hands and the blindfold was tugged off, there seemed to be something that weighed down on jungmo’s shoulders. he felt sick to the stomach.

the first thing that jungmo saw was the couch from the first photoshoot. they had placed it back in its original position, still at the opposite end of the exhibition floor. the second thing that jungmo noticed was how _horrible_ minhee looked. there was a certain sort of elegance to it, the way that fake cuts and bruises littered his neck, how the thorns appeared to penetrate the soft skin around his arms and how blood seemed to pour little by little out of these wounds. dark bags under minhee’s eyes were lined with glitter stars, modeling teardrops as the pattern most definitely coordinated by the museum’s resident makeup artist seemed to slide down both his cheeks. it was grotesquely beautiful.

jungmo held the viewfinder to his eye with shaking hands. minhee lay on the couch, eyes open yet staring into the distance, not bothering to make eye contact with the older. taking a few sample shots, jungmo found himself moving closer to minhee. though he knew it was no use in trying to make minhee his, one could not rid themselves of such feelings so easily. jungmo’s heart still hurt. each time spent around the younger would only hurt him in the end.

when jungmo was only a few feet away from the other, minhee’s eyes snapped to make contact with jungmo’s. jungmo saw this through the viewfinder and immediately set the camera down, letting it fall to his side as the strap around his body prevented it from crashing to the ground. the two looked at each other with an intense gaze as people crowded around the exhibition to watch the men interact. both of their minds swirled with thoughts of the exhibition’s rules- how they were not allowed to speak to each other, to touch each other, to have any contact whatsoever with each other. now it all seemed quite cruel. there was nothing more that jungmo wanted to do than reach out and kiss minhee in that moment.

but minhee wasn’t his and jungmo was fine with that. he had accepted the fact long ago.

jungmo turned his head to the side and broke eye contact. feeling embarrassed, jungmo picked up his camera once more and instead turned the other way to face the lights that were set up on the side in which jungmo was usually placed. the bright light burned as jungmo took pictures of the setup, the conflicting shadows, and the light it shone throughout the room. it was definitely different than what he had taken before, but the impulse to do so had been so sudden. he was never one to ignore such feelings.

when jungmo turned back around to look once more at minhee’s face, to capture every detail, he noticed how minhee’s hair appeared to be damp. how had he not seen it before? the younger man looked tired, with weeks of stress and loneliness coated across his face. jungmo wondered what minhee was thinking. had minhee ever considered jungmo as more than a friend? they were coworkers, yes, but what had all those sudden meetings been about? now, jungmo was the desperate one. how he had fooled himself in the end_!_ it seemed almost pitiable.

with one more solemn glance at minhee’s somber expression, jungmo raised the camera to his face and took one shot of the thin crease that formed the model’s mouth. there was something about it that seemed to distress jungmo. he just could not handle it any longer.

taking a deep breath, jungmo removed the camera from his body, setting it gently on the ground as a few spectators in the crowd gasped. getting onto his knees, jungmo reached out to touch minhee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys! lately ive felt... bad about my writing? like, really really bad haha. i dont think one would notice but i actually very recently orphaned basically all my works. i dont know why but the sudden urge overcame me. i really liked honey, honey but honestly i feel like even that is just... not a good work. i don't know. i feel so so bad about my writing- but i am very dedicated to finishing this story. thank you so much for sticking with me throughout these times and encouraging me even though i feel as if it useless to keep writing. thank you so much. i hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	7. the end is not the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an interlude of sorts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these two chapters are kind of short im sorry ;w;

jungmo couldn’t do it. the photographer let his arm fall limply to his side, slumped over on his two knees while minhee watched in horror. there were no words to describe the agony, the pain that jungmo was going through. every part of him wanted to say something- anything_! _

the exhibition still had a few more hours left to the show. glancing up at the clock in the corner of the room, jungmo guessed that he’d have to stay in the museum for three more hours. he could not wait that long. jungmo was absolutely ruined.

turning towards the way he had entered, jungmo left his camera on the ground and headed towards the exit. blocking out the warnings of museum guards and curator staff, jungmo exited the exhibition room. a few murmurs and obnoxious comments from spectators made their way into his mind, but jungmo quickly fanned this from his thoughts. nothing truly mattered to him anymore. jungmo spared minhee one final glance before leaving the room. minhee looked devastated. with trembling lips and a worried gaze, minhee reached out from the exhibition floor. but it was too late. jungmo was gone.


	8. eight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minhee knows he's made a mistake. he can feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this marks the beginning of minhee's angle of the story!

minhee bit harshly onto his lip in the dressing room. the deafening silence as result of his loneliness enveloped the entire space. sound from outside the doors seeped its way into room after a little while, with a few decipherable comments heard here and there. minhee picked at the loose threads at the end of his shirt. his makeup began to deteriorate under the harsh lights of the vanity mirrors. though the stars that underlined his eyelashes had once been beautiful, hours of perspiration and fatigue had transformed them into a mess. minhee looked like a mess.

the exhibition had ended early. jungmo’s sudden departure had shocked everyone in the hall. there had been little time to react, minhee only comprehending what jungmo was trying to do moments before he had looked back and exited through the doors. though staff had desperately tried to get him to stay, jungmo had taken off with his manager, byungchan, quickly enough that there was no possible way to tell where they had gone off to. byungchan seemed like the type of manager to do something like that, minhee mused. he was a nice man.

jungmo’s personal camera laid on the seat next to minhee. not once in his life had minhee picked up a single camera. after the exhibition closed prematurely and spectators were sent to other parts of the museum, seungwoo had picked the object up and handed it to minhee.

“it’s yours for now. once we get this whole situation sorted out and find out where jungmo is, you can return it back to us. for now, it’s yours. besides, you’re probably the person jungmo trusts it with the most.” seungwoo places the camera delicately in minhee’s hands and walks off, tending to more pressing matters. minhee stares at the camera for a while, not sure of how to hold it. finally, minhee places it with his other things in the dressing room. there isn’t much he can do, anyways.

minhee finally receives the signal that he can leave the building a little after the museum closes. he’s not sure why he is made to stay until closing hours, but takes the opportunity nonetheless to get some fresh air and relish in the cold breeze that lazily blows by and tousles his hair. a few thoughts about jungmo linger in his mind, but minhee cannot think about it now. not when he’s in public, at least.

the model hails a taxi back home, fingers quickly typing out a number onto his phone as he enters the car. reciting his address number, minhee places the phone to his ear and counts the rings before the other end picks up and minhee hears the soft, cheerful voice of jungmo’s agent, choi byungchan.

“ah, mr. kang_! _what pleasure do i have to be talking with you today?”

minhee waits for a second, not sure how to respond. “oh, hi. is it alright if you tell me where jungmo is right now? i’m not trying to get him in any more sort of trouble. i just need to return his camera.”

what follows is a series of hushed conversations, most minhee cannot help but eavesdrop on him. minhee hears byungchan make a few annoyed comments before he comes back with an obviously peeved tone.

“jungmo is in his apartment. i’ll send you the address, if you’d like to come over now. i’m actually going to head out now, so feel free to bring the camera in and do whatever business you need.”

minhee receives the address quickly and makes the executive decision to change his destination. quietly, minhee murmurs to the taxi driver the new address. thing funny thing is, minhee ponders, he has already known the address for a while. there was no need for byungchan to send him it, really.

but that is a topic for another day. there is no need to dwell on past mistakes.

the taxi comes to abrupt halt and stops in front of an old-fashioned, mid-80s apartment complex that has seen better days. minhee quickly thanks the driver and hands him a handful of bills before hurriedly entering the building. there, he punches in the button for the fifteenth floor. minhee practically knows everything about jungmo. not only did he know his address, but also the floor and room number. minhee made a mental note to ask byungchan for jungmo’s room number. it would look odd otherwise.

when minhee finally stands in front of jungmo’s apartment door, a huge surge of panic suddenly hits him like a tidal wave. there is something so terribly wrong about this that he cannot shake from his head. the feeling is strong, and minhee knows he has done something wrong. he is not supposed to be there. the camera feels heavy slung around his shoulder and minhee knows, minhee knows that this wrong- god, so wrong.

with one hand still hovering inches away from the wooden door, minhee collapses onto the ground in a similar fashion as how jungmo was positioned earlier that morning. but before the model’s knees hit the ground and the camera too, the door cracks open and minhee looks up to see that jungmo has grasped his arm.

“i-i,” minhee opens his mouth, startled. his hands are working faster than his mind, still reeling to comprehend what is happening.

but minhee does not have the chance to respond with anything, as jungmo has now pulled him into a tight embrace, the camera between the two digging a hole into minhee’s stomach.

“i didn’t realise you missed me that much…” the younger murmurs, letting out a light chuckle in order to appear more composed than he really is. but, when the other doesn’t respond, minhee knows that something is wrong. that’s when minhee feels the damp spot on his sleeve, where jungmo’s head is buried- that’s when he knows for sure something is wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! long time no see, right? sorry ive been a bit MIA- i just finished a pretty long ryeonseung fic that means absolutely the WORLD to me and tbh it kinda fucked me while i was writing it.... needless to say, i am absolutely touched by the support ive gained in my previous chapter. thank you all so, so much for being supportive of me even if this is not my best writing nor my best work. i'll try to finish this fic soon- i would estimate we're maybe 3/4 or 1/2 the way there? im seriously looking forward to completing this with you guys! seriously, it has been so fun to write this. who would have known that staying up late at night in new york city would have led to this kind of idea and in turn such a supportive group of readers? i love you all so much <3


	9. ten.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jungmo makes an announcement and minhee somehow isn't too surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you open your email. you have a new notification from ao3. you click the email. oh, it's a new chapter update. you briefly scroll through the contents and realise it's a chapter update from the exhibitionist- that one fic you thought had died because the author abandoned it. you realise you've clicked the link and are now reading the super meta author note that the author, user noair, has written. it is then you also realise they never actually abandoned the work but has essentially been a little bitch the entire three two months it took for them to write this chapter. you take a sigh of relief. maybe this story will be finished after all.

the autumn air had been cold that day. minhee recalled how freezing he was as he unlocked the door to jungmo’s apartment- how his hands shook as he put in the key code and how his fingers trembled when he felt the metal door handle twist. these were small, minute details, but still details he remembered. for as long as he could remember, minhee had always been the kind of person to remember these sorts of things. it was something he was born with, he was sure of.

minhee wasn’t quite sure how he ended up like this. there had been a moment of betrayal where minhee had looked jungmo directly in the eyes and wavered for a moment. there had been a moment where minhee had let his guard down and invited jungmo in. no longer was minhee playing defense. there were cards to be played but that time was not now.

and so minhee found himself splayed across one of jungmo’s loveseats, gripping furiously onto the man’s suit tie with his right hand and clutching a fist full of the other’s hair with his left. a dark red spot where jungmo had bit at just below minhee’s lip bloomed underneath the light of the kitchen lamp, where minhee was sure would turn a deep purple soon. the younger man’s body ached and throbbed from the day’s work, yet there was still something inside him that urged him to continue. jungmo trailed kisses down the other’s neck, stopping once he got to minhee’s collar and instead looked up. minhee blinked. had jungmo’s gaze ever been this intense?

“wait-“ jungmo stood up from the couch, moving to the entrance of the apartment where minhee had hastily dropped off his bag. minhee watched with curiosity as the older man pulled out the returned camera, quickly turning it on and positioning it in his hands. “god,” jungmo said breathlessly, running a hand through his hair. “you look so perfect.”

minhee wasn’t quite sure what jungmo meant by that, but he had no doubt he looked like shit. with his hair disheveled, his lips swollen, and his makeup rubbed off onto jungmo’s suit shirt, there hadn’t been a time where minhee had felt more exposed. yet, minhee was alright with this.

“oh come on,” minhee whined, reaching out one of his arms to gesture for jungmo to return. “why don’t you just kiss me again? it took long enough…” minhee grumbled, slightly pounting when jungmo laughed at the latter comments.

“cute,” the older man mumbled under his breath, sitting back down on the loveseat and placing a single peck onto minhee’s lips. “you’re too selfish.”

minhee sat up, crossing his arms together in defense. “says the one who walked out on our exhibition? sounds a bit hypocritical.”

the words lingered in the air for a moment, a long period of silence following them. for a moment, minhee panicked. had he said the wrong thing? to be honest, minhee still wasn’t quite sure why jungmo had walked out. but of course, some things happened for the best. minhee hoped that this was one of those cases.

jungmo took a deep breath. minhee observed the rise and fall of his chest, the movements of his adam’s apple when he swallowed. “you’re right. i’m being hypocritical.” more silence followed and minhee silently implored jungmo to say more- searching for anything that might have given him a more definite answer to his unspoken question. “i’ve just been stressed lately. what else can i say? you’re always booked and busy, you could probably relate.”

sheepishly, minhee scratched the back of his head. it was true. it would only be a disservice to deny it.

expecting a response but getting none in return, jungmo gave way to another sigh. it hurt minhee to hear him like that. he always sounded so monotone, so broken. there was just so much about jungmo that minhee could not read. it excited him in a way, but worried him at the same time. how complex human emotions were_!_ it almost bothered minhee that he could not easily tell right from wrong when it came to jungmo. maybe that’s what had first attracted him to the photographer.

“i can’t believe i’m going to say this,” jungmo stood up and walked to the nearby kitchen counter. when minhee’s gaze followed him there, open bottles of whisky were strewn around the table top. now minhee realised why jungmo’s kiss had tasted so familiar. it was that comforting taste of alcohol.

“i had an entire thing planned… but of course i’m not good enough for that, am i? it’s always such a pain to act like a fucking schoolboy but here i am.” with much vigour, jungmo filled another glass with whisky and downed it, scrunching up his nose in disgust when it hit the back of his throat. “well, minhee.” he leaned over the countertop and looked directly across the room and into minhee’s eyes. “here it is. i like you.”

before minhee even had time to process what the other had just told him, jungmo continued. “and before you tell me you like me too- i love you minhee. what can i say? we don’t even know each other that well but my heart pounds whenever i take off my blindfold and my neck turns red whenever you call my name. is it wrong for me to say this? you probably have standards.” a slight scowl appeared to spread cross jungmo’s face, his grip on the glass tightening. “god, what an idiot i am…”

for the first time in his life, minhee acted on impulse. instead of following his mind, he followed his heart and lept from the couch and into jungmo’s arms. in a tight embrace, minhee felt himself melt when jungmo relaxed and reciprocated the hug. hadn’t this been minhee’s plan all along? it felt so odd to him- how could he accept the confession of a drunk man?

but minhee took the bait. it was easier for him to accept as he had been working towards this moment for so long.

“i… i like you too. god, doesn’t it feel weird to say that? we’re grown met and yet we act like teenagers with their first crush. it’s vomit-inducing, really.” minhee laughed at his own joke, desperately trying to switch his aura from his true self and back into the professional, “cold and distant” minhee he had spent years trying to perfect.

when they both separated and now awkwardly stood next to each other in the kitchen, jungmo shrugged. “you’re right.” he chuckled, carding yet another hand through his hair. “i’m just surprised. i didn’t realise that you… i thought you were… never mind.” as quickly as he had dismissed his thoughts, jungmo grabbed minhee’s waist and pulled him closer. “can we just stay like this for a while? i think we both need it. a lot has happened in the past few days.”

minhee nodded, also feeling as if this was probably needed. “of course.” he murmured, letting his head rest on the other’s shoulder as they both leaned against the kitchen counter. it all seemed quite domestic, minhee pondered. when was the last time he had felt like this? it was a welcome change, something that minhee was sure he would appreciate later in life. yet, there was still much, much more to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LITERALLY CRYING LMFAO WHY DO I SUCK AT WRITING   
okay guys im actually gonna finish this fic i am not A QUITTER


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